Today marks the fourth anniversary of Dad’s passing. Each year that passes it gets a little less complicated to walk through the energy around this time of the year.
The passing of a parent isn’t for the faint of heart...as some of you already know. (There’s a kind of club that you join unknowingly when you lose a father or a mother).
I learned so so many things throughout this journey. One of which is that upon the passing of someone who holds very specific memories that only the two of you share...means...that you can no longer relive these special memories by talking with them about it. Essentially, their version of these special moments die with them. And trust me...Dad had a LOT of special versions of a lifetime of living memories that he and I shared.
Of course, Dad was human. He had his share of failures and fuck ups and faults. But he taught me a lot of things in his time here on earth. Some good...some not so good.
He wasn’t the most gracious of men when I came out to him and Mom. It was where a very rough road began between he and I. But in the end...it forced me to look for the path to compassion for him. After all...if I wanted him to love me unconditionally...then I needed to love him without condition as well. It took me many years to figure out what this even meant.
I admired Dad on many levels. His persistence, his problem-solving skills, his relentless and quirky humor, his warrior spirit in taking on a challenge.
It was hard to watch him deteriorate in his final years as his battle with Parkinson's began to wear him down...mentally and physically. When having a conversation with him there were glimpses of the man I knew versus his medicated mind that often spoke of hallucinated scenes. The best part of this was that I knew then that I would once again be able to have many conversations with him and discuss some of the deepest of topics after he passed. And this is true. I speak to him almost daily now.
All of this said...I want to tell you a story. An unbelievable true story about one of the many tall tales that “happened to Dad.” It’s a testament to his internal code of being fair and also being an advocate for one of his most favorite stores—Big Lots.
Dad loved to shop at Big Lots! (Especially the electronics aisle.) Back when there used to be a Big Lots in Wauseon, Ohio...Dad went there to make a return for something he purchased one day. Everything went per usual until the next morning he called the bank to check on recent debits and credits (this of course was back when to get information on your banking you had to call the bank and listen to an automated recording for each of your transactions)....here’s what he heard.
“Credit in the amount of….two hundred thirty-five thousand, four hundred and forty eight dollars.”
What in the sam hill?? Yes...you read that correctly! That’s $235,448.00 deposited into his account! Unbelievable.
Big Lots of Wauseon had mistakenly credited him two hundred thirty-five thousand...four hundred and forty eight dollars into his account!! He recorded an audio to prove to people that this actually happened...and then took great joy in playing it for anyone and everyone that would listen. Maybe it could be said that dad had something to do with Big Lots of Wauseon closing...but regardless...he contacted them right away to ensure they got it all straightened out and they got their money back. He was always honest if things like this happened...which for some reason goofy things like this happened to Dad. And he was always an advocate for Big Lots!!!
Crazy stuff like this happened to Dad. I swear there was never a dull moment with him.
Thank you for teaching me so much...and for continuing to teaching me...even now!
Miss you Dad.
Rest in peace.
