10/15/24 0900: One step forward, two steps back.

The progression of things here in WNC. One step forward, two steps back.

When I woke up this morning I was slightly triggered by the site of my cell phone returning to a “searching for service” status. What’s this? I thought we were past this place of no comms? Then I found myself wondering, “Ah, I’ll bet Verizon removed the rapid response connectivity unit that they so kindly installed just down the road to support poor and non-existent cell phone coverage.”
According to what I’m hearing, this may in fact be true.

It’s been absolutely astounding to watch in realtime the speed of repairs being made and services being restored. Sections of roads that were washed away have been filled in and repaired and returned to “driveable” status, thousands and thousands of homes that were previously without power have been restored, running water access has been restored in many locations, “cut and shove” methods of clearing trees from roadways and other points of access have been implemented since day one. All of this has happened in just 19 days. And it’s happening all around us every day.

You can’t drive anywhere and not see the debris and remnants and reminders that Helene crashed into these mountains just 19 days ago. And I can attest to the fact that while restoration IS happening...there is still a state of un-stableness all around us. And it’s unsettling.

This is the thing. While major progress has been made here it is also worthy to note we are all being taught that an endless supply of patience and fortitude is mandatory at all times. As things are brought back into a state of “new normal”, it’s evident that this “new normal” requires extra travel time, extra planning to accomplish anything, a relentless amount of pivot and adaptability, and a whole LOT of loving-kindness directed towards one another.

As we seek to lean in to trusting some semblance of “normalcy” it’s triggering to see a fast-flowing creek, it’s triggering to look at your phone and see “searching for service”, it’s triggering when the power intermittently goes out, it’s triggering to see the constant stream of destruction videos on FB.

I turn my cell phone off at various times throughout the day as a way to control the triggering inputs and as a way to create a “balm space” around me. Calming instrumental music is almost always playing in my background spaces. (Mostly Native American Flute music) Doing the daily required things of course is a necessity. But for me, writing has been a wonderful source of processing so much of this. A way to express from a heart-felt space what I’ve experienced and what I’ve observed other’s have experienced.

It’s one step forward, two steps back all around us. I’m learning more and more each day how to truly lean into this ever-evolving time/space we find ourselves in. But I’ve also grown irritable around what has become meaningless drivel. Things that used to seem so important...aren’t any longer. It’s as if what Helene has brought to our front doorsteps has called upon us to sort through what truly matters and what no longer matters at all. Almost like a mandatory culling has been enacted upon us. And there are many things I don’t want to have to sort through. I don’t want to have to choose to leave behind what I used to hold very dear. But yet...I don’t have the luxury of this choice any longer. Many of you know exactly what I’m talking about here.

This is the space from within we sit. Together. And yet I do know...that on the other side...there will be a renewal. A rebirth of something completely new.