10/17/24 18:30: Becoming reacquainted with the forest I once knew.

 

Tomorrow is a pretty big day! On Wednesday, October 16^th, the National Forest Service of North Carolina released a statement that the Pisgah Ranger District in the Pisgah National Forest would reopen to the public beginning Friday, October 18^th. Tomorrow!!

(Wow, this is WAY sooner than I ever expected to be able to walk into this forest again. Many, many thanks to those who worked tirelessly to make this even possible!)

There was also a “word-to-the-wise” cautionary statement, “Like many areas in Western North Carolina, the Pisgah National Forest was heavily impacted by Hurricane Helene, and visitors may encounter several hazards caused by storm damage, such as: Landslides along forest service roads and trails, fallen trees and large limbs crossing trails, washed out trails and bridges, rough roads that require high clearance vehicles where previously it did not, limited cell phone service in case of emergency.”

The last statement there about cell phone service has always been the case in Pisgah, but a good reminder since it seems things are a lot different than we might remember it all throughout the forest due to “artistic expression” and “rearranging of the furniture” by Helene. (While I make light of the impact that Helene ravaged upon the forest, I do this as a way to prepare myself for what I may see tomorrow, because yes, while I am excited to visit this sacred place again, I also know that I won’t be fully prepared for what I will see.

It’s worth mentioning here that Pisgah Forest gave notice of recreational site closures (campgrounds, boat launches, developed recreation sites and roads) on September 25^th in anticipation of this storm.

So the math says, it’s been 23 days since the public has been allowed entry here.

It’s also worth a shout out to Dave Casey, District Ranger, Pisgah Ranger District because he said this,

“We understand the forest is a place of refuge for many, especially during times like these. There’s still plenty of work to do, but we look forward to once again having folks back on their public land.”

See, he gets it. He clearly understands what a holy place Pisgah Ranger District represents for so many people who have visited this very special place.

All that said, I’ve realized that because I’ve been reluctant to see the geographic changes to the land with my own eyes means that I’m not ready to let go of what I knew her to be. Yet...I also know that I am being called to become reacquainted with all those specific places I once retreated to for sanctuary. And I am also being called to see the beauty that’s still there in whatever rearranged version she now sits from within and to let her be exactly what she’s become and love her for it.

I know I will see mud-slides, riverbeds rearranged, piles of trees upon piles of trees, but I will go taking the same risks as I have done before...the risk that I may find new adventure, undiscovered wonder and a silence that makes you stop and listen. The risk that my heart may be stirred, that tears may fill my eyes, that the wind may whisper a secret from the universe. These risks and more are worth leaning in to, at least to me they are. And from many conversations I’ve had with those of you who are reading this...I know you feel much the same way.

So tomorrow I will go and get reacquainted with one of my most favorite places on earth, Pisgah National Forest, Pisgah Ranger District. It’s time to become familiar again.

Photo Credit: 춘성 강 pixabay dot com

 

 

10/15/24 0900: One step forward, two steps back.

The progression of things here in WNC. One step forward, two steps back.

When I woke up this morning I was slightly triggered by the site of my cell phone returning to a “searching for service” status. What’s this? I thought we were past this place of no comms? Then I found myself wondering, “Ah, I’ll bet Verizon removed the rapid response connectivity unit that they so kindly installed just down the road to support poor and non-existent cell phone coverage.”
According to what I’m hearing, this may in fact be true.

It’s been absolutely astounding to watch in realtime the speed of repairs being made and services being restored. Sections of roads that were washed away have been filled in and repaired and returned to “driveable” status, thousands and thousands of homes that were previously without power have been restored, running water access has been restored in many locations, “cut and shove” methods of clearing trees from roadways and other points of access have been implemented since day one. All of this has happened in just 19 days. And it’s happening all around us every day.

You can’t drive anywhere and not see the debris and remnants and reminders that Helene crashed into these mountains just 19 days ago. And I can attest to the fact that while restoration IS happening...there is still a state of un-stableness all around us. And it’s unsettling.

This is the thing. While major progress has been made here it is also worthy to note we are all being taught that an endless supply of patience and fortitude is mandatory at all times. As things are brought back into a state of “new normal”, it’s evident that this “new normal” requires extra travel time, extra planning to accomplish anything, a relentless amount of pivot and adaptability, and a whole LOT of loving-kindness directed towards one another.

As we seek to lean in to trusting some semblance of “normalcy” it’s triggering to see a fast-flowing creek, it’s triggering to look at your phone and see “searching for service”, it’s triggering when the power intermittently goes out, it’s triggering to see the constant stream of destruction videos on FB.

I turn my cell phone off at various times throughout the day as a way to control the triggering inputs and as a way to create a “balm space” around me. Calming instrumental music is almost always playing in my background spaces. (Mostly Native American Flute music) Doing the daily required things of course is a necessity. But for me, writing has been a wonderful source of processing so much of this. A way to express from a heart-felt space what I’ve experienced and what I’ve observed other’s have experienced.

It’s one step forward, two steps back all around us. I’m learning more and more each day how to truly lean into this ever-evolving time/space we find ourselves in. But I’ve also grown irritable around what has become meaningless drivel. Things that used to seem so important...aren’t any longer. It’s as if what Helene has brought to our front doorsteps has called upon us to sort through what truly matters and what no longer matters at all. Almost like a mandatory culling has been enacted upon us. And there are many things I don’t want to have to sort through. I don’t want to have to choose to leave behind what I used to hold very dear. But yet...I don’t have the luxury of this choice any longer. Many of you know exactly what I’m talking about here.

This is the space from within we sit. Together. And yet I do know...that on the other side...there will be a renewal. A rebirth of something completely new. 

 

 

10/12/24 19:00: Churches.

Little did anyone truly know that the pulse points of vicinage could be touched and found in the most restorative ways by what was and still is being demonstrated by churches.

Crisis (especially to the level of “biblical devastation” witnessed and experienced here in Western North Carolina) has a unique way of proving the fortitude of a people.

When the dust settled and the waters began to recede and things shifted from rescue to recovery immediate needs became blatantly obvious. Many lost everything. A call went out for help. And that call was answered first by those closest then by those from miles away and then by those States away and the donations began to pour in. First by the car loads, then by the trailer loads, then by the truck loads.

It’s one thing to load up cases of water and cans of food and paper products and diapers and formula. It’s a whole other thing to receive, store and distribute these to those in need. And in any kind of efficient, get-it-in-the-hands-of-the-people kind of way.

Churches already had the buildings and the resources and the people (seemingly on call and ready to help) to be the “base camps” for donations to be received and distributed right into the heart of the communities that needed them the most.

It just kind of happened. Like this “system” was already in place and waiting to be called up out of a “ready reserve” of people as a reinforcement for shattered communities.

And at no point did I witness or experience any kind of congregational positioning. It didn’t matter what religious affiliation to which any of these churches were previously aligned. Because everyone suddenly found themselves surrounded by and affected by the same common denominator. Everyone suddenly became human first and foremost with the exact same basic needs like water and food and shelter.

It was nothing short of magical to watch unfold!

And now, in each community and town and city in Western North Carolina there are dozens and dozens of churches still actively involved as distribution points for the tons and tons of supplies that have been sent here by your communities...many of your towns being hundreds of miles away. And in some cases some of your churches served as receiving points for your donations which were then transported here to the churches in our communities.

I think it’s important for those who donated to this very worthy cause to know first hand that, in my experience, no one was turned away. Rather...when you walked into one of these distribution sites you were met with smiling faces that said, please take what you need. No questions asked.

I could go on and on about what a soul-fulfilling, needs meeting, heart-felt exchange that the giving and receiving segment and that essentially Helene brought to our doorsteps. Literally.

Unquestionably this disaster has pushed us back towards one another again. In ways I don’t think we ever imagined could be possible. Let’s not forget what living from this common denominator feels like.

I want to offer my gratitude to those who turned towards this and leaned in.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart! To the churches, to the pastors, to the congregants, to the complete strangers that volunteered at these churches, to the women, to the men, to the young, to the elderly, to the human...who found their humanness. Thank you!

#WNCstrong

Photo Credit: blog.campingworld.com

 

 

 

10/10/24 20:00: Enter...the sorting phase.

 

So here we are...two weeks since Helene came and re-arranged hearts, lives and the land here in the mountains of Western North Carolina. Wow, hard to believe it’s only been two weeks and feels like it’s been two years!

We are somewhat in a “sorting” phase here now. So many supplies and donations have arrived and are still arriving (And please know what I’m about to say is prefaced by the fact that churches and organizations on the ground here have been doing an AMAZING...on-the-fly adaptation to the everyday changing process of distributing your donations and supplies. Killing it in fact!) that most of these locations are asking for local (or any and all) volunteers to come and help sort into more effective ways to get them distributed faster and to those in need. Brilliant ingenuity by those leading the charge on this!

That said, I’ve been asked by a few of you as to where to send supplies and donations or to whom to help with volunteering. Here’s the thing...please note that this area is so incredibly dense with damage and destruction and the like that you can basically pick a favorite thing of yours and start there. Pick a category and they probably could use some help.

For example, if you’re an animal lover, consider donating to local veterinarians who are conducting (at a discounted rate) vaccinations and spaying and neutering the youngins that need it for pets that have been displaced and are currently fostered and are in the process of being re-homed.
If you’d like to help in these efforts please contact Emily Eldridge. She is doing incredible work in an attempt to connect displaced pets with new forever homes.

I could go on and on listing specifics like this...but I compel you to do a bit of research first. Think about what it is you love the most...assisting the elderly, assisting families with children, assisting the lgbtq community, if you’re an outdoor enthusiast and want to help with trail repair, if you’re a music lover and want to help replace lost instruments, if you’re an art lover, whatever your favorite thing is...look up businesses or organizations in the Asheville and the surrounding areas (Hendersonville, Fairview, Black Mountain, Spruce Pine, Marshall, Flat Rock, Chimney Rock, Bat Cave, Cedar Mountain, Rosman, Saluda or any plethora of others) that you could donate to or assist.

Let me say this again...please do some research. One way to do this is use the search function within Facebook and type in anything like “how can I help artists in western north carolina” and then read the posts that are listed speaking about these topics. Believe it or not...the AI search function is doing a pretty good job delivering reliable info in this way.

Many have asked where to bring supplies and donations others have asked where the best places are to locally volunteer (near Asheville and the surrounding areas).

The following organizations are a solid resource in answering the most immediate need questions (which are changing literally moment by moment.)

Cajun Navy 2016
Samaritans Purse-Boone, NC: (800) 528-1980
Anchor Baptist Church-Pisgah Forest, NC: (828) 884-7610
Interfaith Assistance Ministry- Hendersonville, NC: (828) 697 7029

Please also note here...that I know I’m leaving out some other very incredible organizations but there’s just not room to list them all...which again is why I say...do your own research. Let your heart lead the way to whom you are supposed to help.

The outpouring of human-kindness is absolutely astounding to watch from the Western North Carolina side of things!

I want to personally thank each and everyone of you who have already been involved in donating, gathering, delivering, coordinating and spreading the word!

A great big huge Western North Carolina Mountain THANK YOU!

#WNCstrong

*Please note if I didn't list an organization that needed to be mentioned here as a reference or resource...I did not do this intentionally. Again...too many to list all of them so I just picked a few based upon what I've seen or heard about their actions on the ground in these efforts. 

 

 

 

10/08/24 20:00: Continuation of lessons learned on the ground (post-Helene) in Brevard, NC

 

-Who knew there was such a thing as a portable laundry station on wheels?

So as you know there are many here without power or water still...and it’s been a while...so yep...the clothes haven’t been washed in a while. Well, just down from where I’m staying is a church. And yesterday I noticed there was a bunch of trailers showing up with various church names on them. But one particular trailer caught my attention because it said, in BIG letters on the side, “Disaster relief Laundry Unit.” What? Is this a trailer full of washers and dryers?

Sure is. This group is from Kentucky. Side of the trailer also said “Southern Baptist Convention.” Well I’ll be...there’s such a thing as disaster relief teams like this sent out by church organizations like this to help in dire times.

Here’s how it worked...you walk up, hand them your clothes, they give you a tag, take your name and cell number and then they text you when they’re all washed, dried and folded. How cool is that? Another much needed free service that just showed up here two days ago!

-It doesn’t matter how big the bit is...or how small...ANY little bit will help.

There are levels of “survivor guilt” happening all over or maybe might better be called “damage guilt” or “loss guilt”...as in one person’s loss may be next to nothing while a neighbor or a friend’s loss was completely everything. And to offset these feelings of guilt, a very natural human response is...how can I help? I haven’t spoken to anyone yet that isn’t in a frame of mind of “how can I help.” And I think this is a testament to just how far reaching this recovery process is.
I’ve certainly struggled with my own preoccupation with remaining engaged in the recovery phase. Partly because we’re surrounded by it. Day-by-day things are ever changing. As progress is made by utility workers, road crews, volunteers arriving with donated supplies, volunteers distributing supplies, and on and on and on.

I’ve also noticed (because it’s happening to me) that the emotional toll is beginning to compound.

A few days ago, for some reason, I was remembering the HBO television series Band of Brothers (which is based on the true story of “Easy” Company, 2^nd Battalion, 506^th Parachute Infantry Regiment of the 101^st Airborne Division as they landed and fought through the Western Front of World War II).

In episode seven titled “Breaking Point”, Lieutenant Lynn "Buck" Compton watches in horror as his close friends William Guarnere and Joe Toye take basically a direct hit from artillery fire and both of them lose a leg. It’s a gruesome scene. Buck can’t even utter the word “medic” for a few seconds because he stood there just completely stunned by what he was looking at...and then eventually he musters the ability to cry out “MEDIC!” It was shortly after this , Buck began to show signs of the “strain of battle” and was pulled off the line and out of combat.

So here’s the thing...I’ve watched this series many times...and each time when I see this unraveling with Buck Compton I’ve wondered, “Why is it that with some guys these horrors didn’t seem to bother them at all and with others just a complete shut-down or even sudden blindness occurred?”

Well, I get it now. Totally.

When you’re surrounded by people you know and love who have been harmed in so many ways by horrible losses or heart-ache and are also grief stricken yet have to push through re-grouping, recovering and moving forward...it takes a toll. And we are still discovery things that we didn’t know have happened here just a few towns over. So this toll keeps compounding and compounding.

I’m beginning to fully grasp why taking pause for yourself is a very worthy step indeed. Whether it’s finding a hot shower (as there are now shower stations at various locations), eating a hot meal (also available at many free locations), giving a hug to a stranger or getting a hug from a stranger, or staring at the sky, gazing at the mountains, touching a tree...and seemingly little thing like this are a big deal now. Because it provides relief...even if just for a moment to your mind and for your heart.

Today, I found myself watching some people because they were laughing with one another and it struck me… “Hey, they’re laughing.” A much needed respite to witness.

-Facts versus fiction

On the morning of Friday, Sept 27^th it took a little while to figure out what the immediate issues at hand were and one of the extremely problematic issues was the loss of communication. Nobody could check on or check in with their loved ones. Cell towers were non-functioning and internet service was interrupted. Which also meant there was absolutely no way to communicate with the outside world.

Enter the value of the radio! The only way you could hear what was going on or gather intel on what had happened in and around the region was by word-of-mouth or by listening to a good ‘ole fashioned radio.

Here’s the interesting lesson learned beside the obvious (which is how much we depend upon cell phones and the internet to communicate and do so many other things...like banking for instance), I learned pretty quick that during those first few days...I could trust 100% what people were telling me because either the person telling me something had seen it with their own eyes, or they had heard it from someone who had seen it with their own eyes. When I say there was little to no misinformation during the first 48-72 hours...I mean that. (Of course...there also wasn’t a whole lot of information yet either). And not until the Internet came back up on line and a little time passed that misinformation started to get bounced around.

While there was misunderstanding during those first 72 hours...because we forgot what a cash society looks like for one. Because the internet was out...stores couldn’t utilize their credit card and debit systems. Poof, cash only. So follow along with me. When the first gas stations opened and person “A” pulled up to the pump...realized, oh cash only...has to go inside...pay...return to the pump...pump gas...depart. That all took somewhere in the ballpark of 5-10 minutes right? Now person “b” then “c” then “d” then “e” and now “f” arrive. Lines backing up. Because these cash transactions take longer...so then others see the line and think… “there’s a line at the gas station...I wonder if they’ll run out since only 1 or 2 stations in town are open...I better go get gas too.” And then before you know it there’s a line a mile long and word gets out...and the process compounds from there.

The radio stations had to keep repeating on the air “there’s no gas shortage.” Which was indeed helpful!

So yes, misunderstanding created some struggle as well...but...I can also say, I witnessed some amazing feats of organization and cooperation during these times. The gas lines eventually became very organized where there would be only one line...you couldn’t just drive into the side entrance of the parking lot and grab a pump that opened up...there were “systems” created on the fly to become more efficient. Sure there was a little yelling from time to time and horn honking but what a fascinating thing see unfold.

One of those early days there were cars lined up to go into town (because of the gas rush) on the street that goes past where I’m staying. And suddenly I realized I bet these folks know some things about what’s going on in and around the area (this was before I had a radio to use) so I walked down the street and just starting going car to car asking people what they knew. And then I would tell them what I knew in exchange. At first people were skeptical, but then when they realized I was just one of them trying to get the scoop on what was going on they were more willing to share info.

My oh my...the lessons learned during these days.

Stay tuned...things are improving each and every day!

10/06/24 23:00 Seemingly tiny but enormous truth.

Today I heeded the suggestions of many of you and turned toward some self-care. And on many levels this felt like an unfair indulgence. And I don’t have to explain why. You know. Because nearly everyone I’ve talked to feels the same way. We are all overwhelmed with the feeling of doing more, volunteering more, donating more. Like enough isn’t ever going to be attainable in this disastrous condition we all (and yes, I do mean all because I don’t believe anyone is really untouched by the ever-reaching affects of what has happened here in western North Carolina) find ourselves facing.

Nonetheless, some very dear friends of mine (if you’re reading this...you know who you are) offered some respite in the forest. A hot meal, time with friends, a general break from being inundated by the call for help. The most special part of this visit...included a walk on a trail in the forest that led to a creek. I so desperately needed to put my hands in the mountain water. To stand barefoot in the creek and feel it again. To hear the trickling sounds of it again...in spite of the reminder in the background as a helicopter flew overhead.

There was grief in my heart, there was grief in the air. And today was the first day since Helene arrived here that I could stand in the stillness of the forest again and listen. We grieved together she and I...the forest and the flowing waters and the rustling leaves on the ground. I’m tearing yet again as I write this.

Reaching out and touching a nearby tree after pausing to be present in this moment. There was a recognizable stillness, a calm about her. A very composed calm. And what a beautiful reminder to me that even the hardest things can be grasped after the initial maelstrom has passed by.

On the walk back...a group of the tiniest little purple wildflowers (not totally sure but I think they are called “Smooth Astor”) caught my eye. I stopped dead in my tracks. They were such a beauty to behold. And as I often do...I spoke to them.

“Well, hi there,” I said as tears welled up in my eyes.
“How did you beautiful little things survive this? How are you still here?”
And they said, “We are here to show you just how resilient Nature is.”
And I said, “Thank you for still being here and showing me this seemingly tiny but enormous truth.”

Photo credit: Dan Mullen CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

10/05/24 22:50 Self-care and the liminal space

I came across a t-shirt image today that I created a few short months ago. The image is sort of fun and cartoony. And the words say, “Self-care: hiking, kayaking, walking in the forest, listening to the mountain stream.” And then the tears came. Tearing up as I write this even now.

 

 

Yesterday I realized that I haven’t been in Nature to listen to the silence, to dip my hands into the river water, to gaze into the forest and feel her wonder since the last trip I guided down the Green River which was Friday, Sept 20^th. This was only 16 days ago and it feels like forever ago.

I went looking for a place to just sit with Nature yesterday and realized that the places that I would have normally gone seeking solace and sacredness...are basically boarded up (literally since trees are down blocking what used to be passable access to these glorious places...like Pisgah National Forest or Dupont.) Pisgah National Forest is now closed. Imagine this for a moment...the forest is closed.

As I sit and ponder this...I realize that I used to go into these mountains to wander amongst the trees and along the rivers and creeks for self-care and therapy for my soul. Nature was always there...opened armed if you will...whispering her wisdom. Always open.

Maybe now...I am called to return the favor. And even as I say this, imposter syndrome enters here. Who am I to return any sort of healing energy back to Nature?
Maybe this is what’s really been taking a toll on my heart. The fact that it appears Nature is broken. But is it? As I look around the devastation to the land here makes it unrecognizable. I don’t know this place like I once did. But isn’t she still there..her heartbeat?

I think this might be the exact thing I’ve spoken about before in other contexts. The middle space. The liminal space. That space between. Between the familiar and the unknown.

I wrote in a FB post on Sept. 8^th referencing change regarding the arrival of Fall:

“I don’t seem to fare as easily with change as Nature does. I’m learning...to allow and go with the flow...but sometimes I’d like things to stay the same for a while. And well...life flows much like the river. Always moving and changing and flowing down stream.

Yet at the same time I know change is good. Keeps us from growing stale or bored. Rest and reset is necessary.

Nothing here on Earth remains the same for long. There’s a reason for cycles. And today I’ll lean toward embracing the middle space where the end of one thing and the beginning of another dwells. And cheers to Nature for being such a master teacher of how to better human!”

Little did I know that not even a month after writing these words, Nature would embrace change yet again much better than I. Maybe that’s just it. Maybe I’m being called to figure out how to accept what is...maybe there is still beauty to be found there in her just as she is now? In all of my wanderings and the support Nature has provided to me..maybe now I’m being called to return the favor. Maybe in fact I need to go into forest and sit in this liminal space with her. Grieve with her. And learn to accept what is..and then watch as new life begins to grow again in the forests and along the rivers and creeks.

Maybe I need to pivot my perspective here. Could it be that I’m stuck in the idea that the beauty that I once found while hiking along the Daniel Ridge loop trail in Pisgah forest won’t be as I remember it? Stuck between the familiar and the unknown. How does one lean toward embracing the middle space where the end of one thing and the beginning of another dwells? Well, remaining open to new possibilities comes to mind.

This new landscape that we are all about to discover together over the next weeks and months and years..might just in fact bring us answers to these questions.

How utterly ironic that on the 26^th of September, the day that Helene arrived here in these mountains I read a poem by Polly Castor titled “Liminal Space” and posted this in a REELS video. I’ve watched this numerous times since...and I’m still challenged by the very words I read out loud.

Click here or on the image below to view this REELS video.