Human default?

 

A little something I wrote back in July of 2024 and... a worthy read.

There's a pretty tough 20 minute hike up out of the Green River gorge at the end of the Upper section whitewater kayaking trip.

Guests are required to carry their kayak and paddle up this trail. They agree to this ahead of time with truly little understanding of what it actually means.

I'm carrying my boat too as we march up the trail. Breathing hard, sweating, muscles beginning to ache. And I get to watch and listen over and over how this is navigated.

Some go quiet. Some talk while they walk. Some get angry. Some just get it done.

But nearly always in these moments of physical stress and discomfort I witness a default human behavior where the focus becomes "what's best for me" and "what's best for me specifically to lesson or eliminate MY pain".

Concern for other's pain almost always goes out the window because I want my pain to be eliminated first and foremost.

Carry my boat for me please, or help me with my burden with little or no concern for the fact that everyone else is experiencing the same exact thing.

I've begun to realize we ALL do this in many areas of our lives. Ask yourself if the truth that exists underneath a moment of disgruntledness is actually based in my need to eliminate my own "best interest" first and foremost?

Isn't this why we get upset when someone takes "our" parking spot? After all..."that was mine" right? Of course it wasn't yours. Its simply a parking spot. The layer of "mine first" comes directly from the mindset of "what’s best for me is best". But is it?

And who is deciding this "bestness" anyway?

I've begun to take note of my own behavior and whether in a moment of dis-ease if I'm acting from a place of "me first". And also trying to navigate whether I recognize someone else acting from "me first" and how to best sail through this moment.

We each have our own default inner programming when moments of fight, flight or freeze arrive.

We don't always see it. Because these defaults have been playing out unrecognized for years. But when you do see it...you can't unsee it.

And I do believe these programs can be re-written and/or re-scripted.

I'm still trying to figure out how to do this well.

Humaning is hard.

But we can do hard things.





#wildhearted