On the day I’m about to describe to you...sloppiness was definitely involved. Which resulted in the usual important lesson-learned scenario after and fortunately for me...no harm, nor foul either. And, well, I also armed myself with a critical tool for future wilderness experiences.
So what went down on this fateful day? Well, this day (like many others before it) I was co-guiding (me and one other) a group of 13 whitewater kayakers in inflatable kayaks down the Upper Green River near Saluda, NC.
This paddling section is just short of a 4 mile run and with 8 noteworthy rapids to navigate. The third of these rapids is referred to as “Bayless Boof” (named for local kayaking pioneer John Bayless) which in whitewater terms is rated a class III. This rapid is basically a 15 foot waterfall that’s split into two sides by a big rocky island. We run right up the middle, while hard-shell kayakers run the left-side line which is the “Boof” line.
The method in which we guide boaters down this rapid is we have everyone stop and float in an eddie just upstream from Bayless. One guide goes down this rapid ahead of everyone else and provides safety for each boater as they come down and directs them to hold up in a nearby eddie to wait for everyone else as they arrive at the bottom. The other guide hops out of their boat and stands in the middle of the river at the very top of Bayless and literally points and pushes each boat one-by-one into a specific channel or route down the rapid.
This day, I went first...just like many days before. But this day...I was in a foggy state-of-mind. Let’s just say I was not in a place of laser-sharp-focus...which is kind of important in a wilderness setting such as this. And you’re about to see why.
It was not uncommon to paddle over the top of this rapid and in the descent down into this drop to be spun and then face backwards by the current and shallow rocks pushing and pulling on your boat. But an odd thing happened in my mind as this happened to me on this day.
I could feel that I was about to be spun around...and as I spun now facing backwards I made the choice to continue to look forward rather than turn my head and anticipate where I was headed behind me. (In doing this...it made my ability to control my direction and balance during the descent much more difficult). I don’t really know what it was that caused me to sort of surrender to fate in that moment...and I did have an immediate sense that this wasn’t the best decision...because my descent now became 100% unpredictable.
Sure enough...when I reached the foamy, curly, pushy waves of current at the bottom my boat tipped hard to one side...I couldn’t see the tip coming and feeling it was too late...and wapow!...flew right outta my boat.
In the next 5 seconds a million thoughts zoomed through my head as I popped up out of the whitewater swirling around me. (Thank you pfd.)
First, where’s my paddle? Good...still in my hand.
Second, where’s my boat? Good...within arms reach...but upside down.
Third, you better navigate your way back into that boat as quick as possible...because if you get pushed by this current downstream away from the task at hand...which is SUPPOSED to be to provide safety for guests who are about to come paddling down this same rapid any minute...this isn’t gonna bode well for anyone.
I had no choice then to spring into action...flip my boat back over, jump in...and paddle to the eddie on river right and then calmly await the arrival of fellow boaters. Adrenaline made this a lot easier to accomplish that I expected.
After I got back into my boat...I looked around.
“Did anyone see that?” I wondered as I chuckled under my breath.
No. Because no one could see me. Everyone else was at the top and away from the edge of the falls so they couldn’t see downstream to where I was. No one but I was at the bottom...it was just me and nature here in this moment.
I laughed out loud...and relief poured over me.
Sloppiness. This is what sloppiness will get you every time.
Vigilance and focus is what this moment called for...and I fucked it up. Fortunately...no harm, nor foul this day. But...you betcha I’ve thought about this moment over and over. Have relived it dozens of times.
Funny the all-encompassing benefits that experiences like these bring into our tool kits.
You betcha...each and every time thereafter that I paddled over Bayless Boof...I was laser-focused the entire way down. Vigilant. After all...there are things at stake in the wilderness. And if we stay present...and focused...and aware...we can navigate these in much more comprehensive ways. Versus willy-nilly half-assedness.
Interestingly...sloppiness of thought is really what was going on here. I had paddled this rapid dozens of times and never lost control in this way. But this day...I basically surrendered control because I passed the point of “not caring enough” to do what I knew needed to be done in the moment...turn around and LOOK where I was going. The moment I made that careless decision...that’s when things fell apart.
I knew better. Because...I had once before faced this moment of careless decision making in the wilderness...in a much different setting. Which is a story for another day.
Sloppiness or self-control?
Sloppiness or focus?
Sloppiness or stewardship of the moment?
Sloppiness or self-discipline?
It’s up to you to decide.
Photo Credit: Image by u_vra2ox6otu from Pixabay
